By Ms.Vidhya Muralidharan (Cancer survivor. Life Coach. She is a registered panel-counsellor on TakeHelp. She is a ‘Life coach’ and also does ‘Palliative Care counselling” for Cancer Patients)

There are some situations & some “words” that one believes are to be encountered only in movies or read as a story. ‘Cancer’ is one such “word”. Being diagnosed with cancer is something one believes is generally the stuff of movies - Until it becomes a reality in your own life!

Cancer was really the furthest thing on my mind - until I got diagnosed with it, and the way it happened was melodramatic enough to indeed qualify as a script for a film.

I had quit my job in Chennai and had a job offer in Mumbai, a place I had always wanted to work in. I find the place professionally very stimulating and at a personal level, I find the city does have soul, despite its typical urban issues. Having done assignments in the city involving longish stays, I have had a taste of the city and wanted more of it. It was a decision also borne out of a desire to accelerate my career that had somewhat stagnated, in a constant endeavour to balance work and family. But now that my daughter was grown up and away for higher studies, I felt it was the best time to give my career a boost.

My husband was also keen to make a shift. The plan was that one of us would take a job, the other would accompany and look out for a job. Since I had this offer, he planned to accompany me and look out for a job. He had also quit and was serving notice period.

We were both excited like kids moving to a new school or going on a vacation. Shopping was done, bags were packed, tickets were booked and we were ready to travel on April 2nd.

In the month of March, I was busy winding up things at work, also undergoing medical tests and the like. During one such test, they found some lumps in the breast, but the report said that it was probably benign and recommended a review after six months.

It was providential that I decided to anyway check with a doctor who is a specialist in this field. But, even when I walked into her clinic on that fateful day – 25th of March, 2016, I never imagined the turn of events. Things happened very quickly after that – she did a biopsy on the same day. Results were obtained on the 30th, confirming an invasive form of cancer, which was also confirmed through other tests. The positive aspect was that it was fairly early diagnosis. But, I had to go through mastectomy, chemotherapy, targeted therapy with Herclone, followed by long standing medication.

Life had turned topsy turvy in a jiffy! I was in between jobs, so was my husband. It meant there was no insurance cover, no scope for income. My daughter’s education had to be funded – and she had left for a study abroad program three weeks prior to this event.

I informed the company offering me a job that I would join a month later after my surgery – I did divulge the details of my illness of course. The plan was to continue the rest of my treatment in Mumbai as advised by my doctor.

But this was not to be – and the climax was yet to come! My would-be employer’s HR rep called and informed me that their medical officer was objecting to my being hired. He had tried convincing him, but had not succeeded in doing so. He was good enough to tell me this upfront and also suggest that I request my then current employer to give me an assignment. I took his advice and requested my employer to give me a role. I knew, however, that I could not go back to my role, as I had served three months’ notice, during which period a replacement had been found.

I went through a period of absolute uncertainty on this front for about a week. But, there was some light at the end of the tunnel. It is truly gestures and moments like these that make life worth living! My previous employer put me on a one-year contract with a substantive income that would sustain me and further extended my medical insurance. Two major worries taken care of!

Then came the issue of coping with the treatment. After each cycle of chemotherapy, it would feel like a partial death and rebirth, which in some sense it was - the cells were being destroyed! It was the greatest test of physical and mental endurance that I have faced so far in life – and I have been through quite a few trying situations in fifty years of living!

What gave me the strength to cope?

• The realization that my family, particularly my spouse and my daughter needed me.
• The fact that my entire family, particularly my parents and sisters, gave me all out support in every sense. I moved in with my parents during my treatment phase. My mother was a pillar of strength, as she has always been.
• The realization that there are many kind souls out there, ready to reach out and support you. The kind of love and affection I received from friends and others was truly touching.
• And above all, the Grace of My Guru. As soon as I was diagnosed, I mailed Sadhguru. I got a message from him assuring me that he was with me and that I should be very brave. As it happened, the message came when I was waiting to see the doctor at the hospital just prior to my first cycle of chemotherapy. And sure enough, I felt his intense presence and Grace all through my treatment period. I also kept my basic yoga practices going, which was also very supportive.

Coping with chemotherapy not only involved acute pain and discomfort in the aftermath of each cycle, but also loss of hair, darkening of the skin and so on. In short, it broke everything and anything that I might have identified with as ‘me.’ Looking at it philosophically and metaphysically, it was truly a catharsis, a release in some sense.

It was during this phase that I could see with absolute clarity within me what life was all about. I made peace within myself. I also let go of any baggage that I carried about people and incidents/circumstances in my life. I resolved not to let any experience or situation affect me such as to come between me and living. I learnt to live life more intensely, and cherish every moment. The idea of ‘living in the moment’ has become clearer and more accessible for me now. I have learnt to shed anxieties about the future and flow along as life takes its course. The experience has in fact brought me closer to my ‘higher self’ or ‘the divine’ if you will!

My contractual assignment with my company gave me an opening and the confidence to take the plunge and move into freelance consulting, particularly focusing on areas that I have been very passionate about – developing people – individually and in groups. I had been wanting more flexibility in career and the opportunity to make life more holistic and richer, managing my health through diet and yoga, finding time to do the things I love, like reading, voluntary work and of course, devoting more time and attention to family. If not for the illness, I would have pushed the decision by another five years – it is not easy to let go of financial security, power and position.

I have, over the years, come to understand that there are no good or bad experiences in life – there are only situations. What we make of it is what decides the course of our life – and we always have the choice to make the most of every situation. Going through cancer has truly been a ‘mixed blessing’ for me, and I am glad God gave me the wisdom to see it as such.